On Friendship, Blog Death, and Resurrection

Did you ever have one of those friends?

You know the one. You were so close. Maybe you worked together. Maybe you were roommates or neighbors. You hung out all the time. You texted each other constantly. You were completely at ease together. You could practically read each other’s minds. They were as much as part of your life as that comfy old sofa in your living room.

But then, one day, something changed.

Maybe you moved, or you got a new job, or you started dating someone, or maybe they did. You promised yourself you’d keep in touch. You really meant to. But the sad fact is that most friendships are based on convenience and proximity. And so, what used to be a daily thing became a weekly thing, then an occasional thing. The texts dropped off. You kept up with them on Facebook, but otherwise kind of went on with your life.

You didn’t mean for it to happen like that, but it did. Pretty soon, the situation becomes self perpetuating. You don’t call because you didn’t call. You’re embarrassed that you let it go so long. You avoid making that call. Even if you have a perfectly reasonable excuse, you’re afraid that at this point you’ll be seen as self serving, only coming back into their life when it’s convenient for you. You’re sure they must just hate you by now. Surely they’ve written you off as another false, fair-weather friend. What’s the use in bothering them, forcing that awkwardness on them? Forcing them to pretend that they’re still your friend? That they still care? It’s better for everyone if you just them go on with their lives.

Slowly, inevitably, the friendship fades away. Until one day you run into your old friend in the grocery store, and neither one of you has much to say. You feel terrible about it, that you’ve let things go so badly. Like that houseplant you forgot to water until it withered and died. You’ve become two different people. Strangers. There’s some awkward, stilted chitchat, promises to catch up. How’s your sister? Did you ever … weren’t we going to …

And then you’re faced with a choice. Do you fess up and admit your mistake? Do you swallow your pride and make an effort to keep the friendship alive, to make sure you keep a place in your life for this person? Or do you just let go, just relax and let the last cords of that relationship slip through your fingers and drift out to sea?

So, on a completely unrelated topic, I haven’t posted on my blog in a while.

Here’s a picture of my cat.

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Meet Tucson, Destroyer of Worlds, Guardian of Paper Products.

4 thoughts on “On Friendship, Blog Death, and Resurrection

  1. Mate! You’re back! I was only thinking about you yesterday when I was reading the latest Tor.com newsletter thing cos they had a Halloween vibe going on and one section was on vampires so I commented that The Devil’s Mouth was a great read and … Anyway, listen to me going on… How are you? How’s the second Alex Raines book coming along?
    Hey, nice cat. That reminds me, must go & fetch mine in, he’s such a wuss.
    Great to hear from you, keep checking in ok?

    See what I did there?
    😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, yes, I’ve reappeared. Thank you, I always appreciate a good book plug! Alex Rains the Second (as yet untitled) is actually coming along quite well. Should be getting my manuscript back from the copy editor shortly. So far, I’m looking at a January release date. And I will pass your compliment along to my cat.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I myself mostly just accept that low maintenence friendships are my thing. That way no one takes anything personally, and when we do get to meet up its like nothing happened. Works out for me, anyways. Hope you are well!

    Liked by 1 person

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